Modern technology.

Answer phone robots. I’m going to call them that because I don’t know the accurate name for the androids you end up talking to when trying to make a very important call.
Here was the situation: my laptop charger was ticking. I wasn’t sure if my laptops was about to blow up, the house electrics were dodgy or my charger was just a bit ticky happy.
This seems like an appalling start to a blog, but trust me, it’s worth it.
So my laptop was ticking and after recently having to fork out £80 for a new charger due to the same noise, I instantly took it to A and E (PC world tech guys.) What followed was a bizarre sequence of events, pretty much a daily routine for me. One tech guy had a look at it, ummed and arrred (I’m sure that’s the correct spelling there) prodded around with my laptop and scratched his head. A second tech guy then came over and attempted to sort out my mysterious ticking problem. Except this guy decided to chat to my housemate and I about cars and endeavoured to win both our numbers, with what can only be described as some of the worst flirting I have EVER seen. Mo from the Simpsons could have done a better job flirting and he isn’t even real.
Nonetheless this didn’t stop Mr. PC world from trying to swoon us, think my personal favourite was when he tried to test if the charger was working, by shoving the pin on his name badge in to the live end of the charger. He may have laughed, but if he had electrocuted himself and started to frizzle, we would definitely be the last ones laughing. And most likely be on the floor with our spleens ruptured and uncontrollably crying through tears of laughter.
Sadly that didn’t happen.
Anyway, got home slight relieved that my bank balance was safe and I had not successfully destroyed charger number two, popped on the kettle and logged on to the infamous Twitter.
Then, out of the depths of no where it came. Tick. Tick. Tick.
As you can imagine I was very calm about this, so relaxed in fact that this whole thing seemed to hardly phase me at all. That fact that I almost threw my laptop out the window is irrelevant.
Bloody tickticktickticktickticktickticktick.
A few deep breaths later and I was dialling PC world Chester, to speak to one of the tech guys about the problem…or so I thought.
The first hiccup was the number I was dialling was no longer the correct number, but no problem, just redial the new one. And sure enough a few minutes down the line a voice answered, result, I could finally get this ticking sorted. “Please state your postcode” the monotone voice said. Oh no.
So hiccup number two, the voice I had been waiting for was in fact a recording. Now maybe this is just human nature to rebel against automatic telephone dweebs, but have you ever noticed how they say “your call may be recorded.” It is like God has deliberately given us the chance to express our frustration through the telephone line. So naturally I did not take this opportunity to swear and shout at this robot, which ironically was still asking for my postcode in order to find the location of the nearest PC world.
However, it was great fun to see if the machine could find a postcode match for ‘you piece of cr..’ To which the voice amusingly said “is that CR for Crawley?”
In the end it was no use, I could have driven to PC world and back in half the time it took me to argue with the phone. So I gave up. And am currently sitting here typing away to tick, tick, tick.
Where did I put that hammer…!